What the stress did to my back

I had to several times before mom was bedridden help her stand up and walk to the bathroom, this went on for a little over 2 weeks several times a day. Towards the end I was having to lean over her after positioning her (mostly all of her body weight) and get her to like hug my neck as hard as she could so I could at least get her out of the bed. This took a toll. On top of that my massage therapist Tuesday told me I carry my tension in my neck and back. She said my muscles were extremely stiff, she couldn't get hardly any movement from them when she started. 

So she asked what was up and I explained the past 18 months as briefly as I could. She was like, yeah ok, that explains it. I am having to constantly remind myself now to drop my shoulders so my back won't hurt so much b/c I got used to carrying the tension. I wake up almost every morning with my back stiff as all get out. I know its not my mattress b/c it's only a year old. 

Web-MD says, "Stress and low back pain can create a vicious circle. You have back pain, and you begin to worry about it. This causes stress, and your back muscles begin to tense. Tense muscles make your back pain worse, and you worry more ... which makes your back worse ... and so on."   So I guess I need to continue going to massage therapy and get back into yoga. Along with dealing with the 

stress. I am just trying to figure out aside from the obvious why I am staying so stressed still. I'm still taking my Zoloft, I took a muscle relaxer last night... woke up stiff as a board this morning. Laid on heating pad, then ice... it's not acute pain but more like a dull annoyance that is driving me nuts. It almost feels like the time I had shingles. Yeah that sucked. But I obviously stay so anxious this doesn't help. I still need to take a day to do absolutely nothing. Haven't really done that yet. 

I'm listening to Fly Leaf today... Mainly b/c only a month in and I am already sick of feeling like this and everything that led up to where I am. Little known fact Fly Leaf is a Christan band.

http://youtu.be/E8V8YKALT-0