Dear Daddy,
Its been 18 months since you left us. Some days I am ok and I can almost get through the day without thinking about you. But I still think about you everyday. I torture myself all the time and hold on for dear life to your memory and it scares me to think that I may forget what you sound like. I don't want to forget the comfort and love I felt in your hugs, and man I wish I could get another one. I watched all of the UT games this year but it wasn't the same without you to call. It actually kind of sucked. Sophie is getting ready to go to high school and I wish you were here to see it. She wants to play softball and you would be proud of her swing! She has a lot of potential to do well, you would eat it up like you did with me.
On occasion I dream about you, it's funny in my dreams now since mom passed you are always with her. That's a comfort for sure, I don't know if it's a way to communicate with me...they say it can be, but no matter its still a comfort. That and the two birds that seem to sit on the fence outside every time I am having a bad day missing ya'll.... its a male and female cardinal. Always together, perched side by side, looking at me. It's crazy how these 2 only hang out when I am missing you guys so deeply. I find myself looking for comfort however I can find it when I wish you were here.
We miss you so much, but I can't say anyone misses you more that me. You were my rock, my north star, my guide and I hope that where ever you are you will continue to guide me. It's time to start healing though, I can't continue to hang on to the pain and not live b/c I know that its not what you would have for me. I have to live my life for you and show my kids how to move on b/c they are having a hard time with it too. You were just such an awesome impactful person and it's hard to let something that wonderful go. But we have to. I will see you again one day and I know you will be the one to come get me when its time.
In the meantime, thank you so much for shaping me and the lessons you taught me. You truly showed me Jesus true expressions of love through acceptance and forgiveness. You thought you fell short but it's not true... you surpassed the mark! You empowered me as a person and that is a hard thing to be without. But you are that little voice in the back of my head pushing me on all the time, I wouldn't be the women I am without you. You are the greatest man I will ever know, you are my hero, you are the embodiment of how the Bible asks us to live and I pray I am half the person you were in life!!
I hope we continue to make you proud, I love you so much daddy... I miss you and when it is my time I know I will repeat the words you said before you told me you loved me for the last time.... I can't wait to see my daddy!! Meet me at the gate with your epic hugs when I am an old lady and its my time. Don't forget me b/c I could never forget you! You will always be my rock and I will always be your baby girl. Nothing will break our bond, not even death! Don't forget to visit me from time to time... hug me in my dreams, I will never stop needing those awesome hugs!!
I love you daddy!!
Forever your babycakes!
Keleigh
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